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uberniftacularThis is something I wrote in here in March...and it still holds true, actually.
"another thing that I've been spending a lot of time contemplating is religion. I mean, I've been raised Catholic, but I really don't know about it anymore. I believe in most of the teachings, but it's just so rigid and uptight most of the time. I listen to other people talking about enjoying church and how they've got such a close relationship with God and stuff...and I just don't see how I could ever have that. church is so boring for me, I mainly spend most of the time daydreaming and stuff...it's so routine at this point that it doesn't really mean anything anymore. and that worries me. I've thought lately about not being Catholic anymore, maybe going to a different church...but I've never really said anything about it because I don't know how my parents would react, and hurting them is the last thing in the world that I'd want to do. and if I were to say something about it, I don't even know which parent I would tell first. see, Mum usually tends to be the more open-minded of the two, but then again, she was born and raised Catholic. Dad, on the other hand, converted to Catholicism before he married Mum...but it seems that a lot of the time, people who convert to a religion are stronger in it than people that were raised to it. so I don't know."
I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I just...have no idea what to believe anymore. At all. I'm sort of trying to...soul-search, I guess you could say. And it's accomplishing nothing other than make myself even more confuzzled than I already was.
I wish I knew what to do. I mean, I've gotten to the point where I'm beginning to almost dread going to church each week, because I get absolutely nothing out of it, except getting bored. Frankly, I've never liked going to church; when I was little, I seriously used to have huge fights with my parents because I didn't want to go. And now...I still don't really want to go.
Honestly, I think I've actually enjoyed going to church twice ever. The first time was the youth service I went to at DUMC last spring. The second time was the ecumenical service a couple weeks ago. That, combined with the fact that I've been having doubts, makes me wonder if maybe being Catholic isn't the way to go for me. But I wouldn't even know where to start if I were to try to find another religion.
I have no idea what I'm doing. Or even why I keep typing this, because I don't actually know what I'm trying to say anymore.
"another thing that I've been spending a lot of time contemplating is religion. I mean, I've been raised Catholic, but I really don't know about it anymore. I believe in most of the teachings, but it's just so rigid and uptight most of the time. I listen to other people talking about enjoying church and how they've got such a close relationship with God and stuff...and I just don't see how I could ever have that. church is so boring for me, I mainly spend most of the time daydreaming and stuff...it's so routine at this point that it doesn't really mean anything anymore. and that worries me. I've thought lately about not being Catholic anymore, maybe going to a different church...but I've never really said anything about it because I don't know how my parents would react, and hurting them is the last thing in the world that I'd want to do. and if I were to say something about it, I don't even know which parent I would tell first. see, Mum usually tends to be the more open-minded of the two, but then again, she was born and raised Catholic. Dad, on the other hand, converted to Catholicism before he married Mum...but it seems that a lot of the time, people who convert to a religion are stronger in it than people that were raised to it. so I don't know."
I've been thinking about this quite a bit lately. I just...have no idea what to believe anymore. At all. I'm sort of trying to...soul-search, I guess you could say. And it's accomplishing nothing other than make myself even more confuzzled than I already was.
I wish I knew what to do. I mean, I've gotten to the point where I'm beginning to almost dread going to church each week, because I get absolutely nothing out of it, except getting bored. Frankly, I've never liked going to church; when I was little, I seriously used to have huge fights with my parents because I didn't want to go. And now...I still don't really want to go.
Honestly, I think I've actually enjoyed going to church twice ever. The first time was the youth service I went to at DUMC last spring. The second time was the ecumenical service a couple weeks ago. That, combined with the fact that I've been having doubts, makes me wonder if maybe being Catholic isn't the way to go for me. But I wouldn't even know where to start if I were to try to find another religion.
I have no idea what I'm doing. Or even why I keep typing this, because I don't actually know what I'm trying to say anymore.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-09 06:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-13 03:52 am (UTC)It's pretty well known that I'm no advocate for religion, but I can tell you that there are millions of religions out there, and if you want one, there's one out there for you.
Or you can always join the dark side... MUAHAHAHAHAHA. ;D
Best wishes,
M.W.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-12-13 05:27 pm (UTC)It's on HIS too but he doesn't have the link. Dumb boy.
Anyway, I was thinking maybe it might help a little?
~*Loren