What.

[uberniftacular]

So. I'm apparently watching Buffy now. I'm 5 episodes in, and I have this to say.

Dear Brain:

STOP. The show has given you multiple potential ships. Play with those, and stop throwing the severely awkward at me instead.

(Just because he's British does not make it okay. And he's not even that attractive. STOP.)

No love,
Me

Comments

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

I was only just wondering if I could just sit back and watch you reply to yourself twelve hundred times. Because it was beginning to get really amusing. :D

I was too young to fully ship Buffy and Giles (dude, I was TWELVE), but I was always aware of a slightly uncomfortable vibe when I was a kid, and I stumbled across the ship when I was that age and was oddly intrigued between screaming in horror. And when I was older I nodded and went, "well, DUH".

And yeah. Old dudes are better than dead dudes.

Now that I think about it, though, isn't this massive interest in vampires comparable to necrophilia? I mean, they ARE corpses. Animated corpses, sure, but corpses all the same. I wonder if anyone has ever really addressed that fact. Buffy, Bella, you're fucking dead dudes! C'mon!

I have so few het ships it's ridiculous. I know intellectually I should be ok with het ships, but whenever I see one, it's like my brain shuts down, and I go, "... breeders..."

No, ok, let me think. There has to be at least one that I stand up and cheer for and defend rabidly.

... let me get back to you, ok?

[uberniftacular]

Yeah, well, that's what happens when I keep thinking of things but not all at once. *facepalm*

Yeah, when I was 12 I don't think I was particularly interested in shipping anybody on tv yet. Was more into making up weird shameless self-insertion stories instead (because dude, Luke Skywalker is pretty... :/ ) But yeah, I'm totally getting a vibe from them. And as I watch more episodes, NOW I'm starting to actually want fic. But there's no way of reading fic yet without completely spoiling myself for everything that happens in the 6 seasons I haven't watched yet. BAH.

I've NEVER understood the interest in vampires. They ARE dead, which, ew. Plus, might potentially kill you at any time.

Haha yeah, I just have trouble getting into het ships. I used to be kinda into Draco/Hermione, but that's seriously the only other het ship I can think of at the moment.

(Well. And I support Hannah/Neville from the DAYD 'verse. But that's fanfic to begin with. If Rowling had bothered to actually give Hannah some character development in the books, I'd probably ship them in book!form too, but.)

Point is, yeah, definitely very much more into the slash.

(Oh. And I've been watching The Mentalist lately, and I can tell the show WANTS me to ship Jane/Lisbon. But I just can't do it. They act so much more like Jane's around 5 or 6, and Lisbon is 10 or so and got roped into babysitting the annoying little brother again.)

...right. I think this comment has gone on long enough. Plus, I'm totally at work right now.

[uberniftacular]

Does it count as het if I ship Gwen/Jack/Ianto from Torchwood? I mean, I kinda ship Gwen/Jack a bit, but not so much as I ship the three of them.

[uberniftacular]

Also, the fact that vampires are dead has me thinking (disturbingly...) about whether they have functional circulatory systems.

Because, mechanically, how is it even possible to sleep with vampires if they lack basic things like bloodflow?

(LOOK WHAT YOU MADE MY BRAIN DO. I DO NOT WANT TO BE PONDERING THE MECHANICS OF FUCKING VAMPIRES. ACK.)

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

So I've been holding off replying to this until I could come up with a het pairing that I ship, but I totally failed. I could come up with plenty that I OT3, and the occasional one that I will read and not mind (like, I like Spock/Uhura! I will read it! But my SHIP is Kirk/Spock, has been since TOS, will be until the end of time), and so I have clearly failed.

I think it would be easier if I were near all my source material, like all my books, and not just a few of them, but yeah. I failed. In my world, we're doomed for extinction because everyone is gay.

Well, or bi, but they are partnered with same-sex folk, so they still ain't making the babies.

I probably ship some het pairings from Harry Potter, but I haven't sat and thought about it, because I am sure there are plenty of minor characters, but yeah, haven't sat and thought. Hmm.

(I mean, in terms of vampires, you CAN have sex without being able to get it up, but they always show them having all this aggressive, vigorous sex, and- like- um, no?

And I've never read the Twilight series [oh Jesus fuck no] but if Edward is dead, how did his corpse produce sperm for Bella to have his vampire baby? I mean, that shit dries up FAST when you're dead.)

Conclusion: sex with vampires=sex with dead bodies=GROSS.

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

(I used my "weep" icon because I think i broke my brain with that last bit about vampires)

[uberniftacular]

Yeah, totally understandable. My brain is getting pretty broken too. Ow.

[uberniftacular]

I also can't think of a het pairing I really ship. Haven't been into HP enough to actively ship Draco/Hermione lately. Also, due to a lovely new story by recessional over at DW, I think I'm starting to OT3 Harry/Ron/Hermione. (Have always shipped Harry/Ron, except when I was shipping Harry/Draco. So, kind of a logical progression I guess.)

...Okay, actually, just looked over at my bookshelf and realized I've got a couple canon het ships from the Tamora Pierce books that I'm pretty into. But they're about the only ones I can think of.

Yeah, vampire babies should just be impossible. I have also not read Twilight (which, as an amusing side note, I just almost typed as "Twitlight"...), because, um, NO. NO SPARKLEPIRES. Plus I've heard there are plenty of other issues too (like, um, hello incredibly unhealthy relationships being portrayed as TOTALLY AWESOME YOU GUYS, which, again, NO.)

So, in conclusion, Twilight = NO.

And I concur with your conclusion as well, and shudder in disgust.

(This discussion, like my icon, is morbid and creepifying.)

[uberniftacular]

Durr, NOW I remember who I ship. And have come to the conclusion that apparently I only really support het ships when the characters involved are Joss Whedon Originals(TM). Because, Mal/Inara. And I kinda ship River/Jayne too. (Plus, Zoe/Wash OTP. And Kaylee/Simon is cute, though I also have a soft spot for Kaylee/Inara)

So yeah, there's that.