so...drama...

There's been a lot of crazy drama-type stuff going on in the band lately. It's rather hard to keep up with, really, and I'm getting pretty sick of it. A lot of it's relationships (Poor Kyle. Poor Steve.) (and what was going on with Logan and Lindsey? I fail to comprehend), but it's not just that...Raeanne was crying today before we left for the game because of something Schuster said to her. Right at the beginning of the game, Steve and Emilee both looked like they were going to cry (and I still don't know what was wrong with Emilee).

The drama is hard on me. I keep wishing there was something I could do to make it all better. I dunno, I guess I've got some sort of weird mothering instinct or something, because I keep kinda wanting to take care of all the younglings (underclassmen, whatever) and make all their problems go away. It's hard for me to sit there and just watch it happen. Like with Kyle, when he came and talked to me after we got off the buses tonight, how he was talking about what he'd been an unfortunate witness to on the bus ride home...I wished there was something I could do to make him feel better. I think the hardest part of this evening, though, was watching Steve. He's usually so incredibly energetic, and definitely the most cheerful of the mellophones...and tonight, he just sat there. He hardly talked...didn't get into the music at all like he usually does (he didn't blast "Breadfan"...and he always does that). He looked like he needed the biggest hug in the world, frankly. It was one of those things where I wished I could just take care of him and make everything better...and it was horrible because I knew I couldn't do anything.

I feel rather like I've unofficially adopted some of the underclassmen, really. I dunno how that worked, but it happened. And it hurts me when I see them get hurt. I mean, there's underclassmen that I'm good friends with (mostly the older ones, the juniors and about half the sophomores), but then there's also the ones I feel like I've adopted (my whole section, of course, and some of the freshmen (Filasco and Kyle mostly, and Ben too a bit)). And those ones...it's hard on me when I can't do anything to help them.

We lost the game, so marching band is finally over. I think...I may actually miss it. I mean, I'm glad it's over, so my life can sorta get back to normal ("normal" meaning "less stressed")...but it didn't really hit me until we were walking back to the bus after the game. That's when Barkman told me that he'd just promoted my brother to Eric #1. I almost started crying right then and there because of that...it wasn't even a big thing, really, but it made me realize that this phase of my life is over forever. I guess I'm just kind of in a sentimental mood tonight...may have a bit to do with the fact that it seems like everyone was emotional today (for various reasons).

I actually kinda had fun at BW3s today...which I didn't expect to, since it's a bar. The food wasn't that great, though (I survived on the fries the whole evening). I sat with Kyle, Gary, and Gordo, which was a bit of an experience. Gary actually displayed emotion (he's cool, even though he doesn't talk much. kinda reminds me of the way I used to be, really), Kyle ate almost a whole thing of wings by himself (then complained about his tongue burning afterwards), and Gordo and I jointly finished off about a thing and a half of the fries, because neither of us were too fond of the wings. After I finished my food, me, Eric, Chris Filasco, and Andrew Colwell's parents formed a team for the trivia game thing, and we actually came in second. So that was pretty fun.

Poor Bry. I'm venting to him about all this drama that's been going on...and he doesn't even know any of the people I'm talking about.