hey my first post! yay!

I finally got one of these. yay me.

It's basically going to be the same as my old one though. Actually I think I'm just gonna duplicate the updates so it'll mostly be the same here as in the old one. but the old one may have stuff that this one doesn't.

this is yesterday's post from my other journal, but I wanted it in here

yay for jazz band!

it was pretty fun, as expected. but doesn't it just figure...I finally have my own trumpet, just for jazz band...and now one of our pieces has a French horn part. so Steve and I have to have both instruments for all the rehearsals. ah well.

Schuster started off rehearsal saying "ever have one of those days where you've lost it and just can't find it?" and Josh immediately said "yeah. every day. it's called my mind." yeah. it was funny. but maybe you had to be there.

I think I'm starting to fall apart. my neck has been really sore all day and I don't know why. my arms felt like they were going to fall off when I was going out to my car after rehearsal today because my backpack was cutting off the circulation to my arms and I was carrying an instrument in each hand. and my legs went all rubbery after playing 4 songs on DDR. one of these days, limbs are just going to start falling off. and I'll probably laugh.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, reflecting and whatnot, and it's kinda scary to look back and realize how much I've changed. I think I've gotten more outgoing...I know I'm a lot more sarcastic...apparently I'm funny, though I don't know when that happened. but I'm also a lot more stressed, because I'm in so much more stuff than I was a few years ago. I've also gotten a lot more reflective, I spend a lot of time just sitting and thinking about stuff, my life, whatever...I write in my real journal more than I ever did before. it helps a lot, really...if I write before I go to sleep, I guess I sleep a lot better. I don't really know, actually...I haven't paid that much attention. but it does help me get my thoughts in order.

another thing that I've been spending a lot of time contemplating is religion. I mean, I've been raised Catholic, but I really don't know about it anymore. I believe in most of the teachings, but it's just so rigid and uptight most of the time. I listen to other people talking about enjoying church and how they've got such a close relationship with God and stuff...and I just don't see how I could ever have that. church is so boring for me, I mainly spend most of the time daydreaming and stuff...it's so routine at this point that it doesn't really mean anything anymore. and that worries me. I've thought lately about not being Catholic anymore, maybe going to a different church...but I've never really said anything about it because I don't know how my parents would react, and hurting them is the last thing in the world that I'd want to do. and if I were to say something about it, I don't even know which parent I would tell first. see, Mum usually tends to be the more open-minded of the two, but then again, she was born and raised Catholic. Dad, on the other hand, converted to Catholicism before he married Mum...but it seems that a lot of the time, people who convert to a religion are stronger in it than people that were raised to it. so I don't know.

I just don't know anything about anything anymore.

I used to know me.

now for a "real" entry

today was pretty easy as school days go...we didn't really do much in any of my classes except calc. and I managed to finish the calc homework before going home today. so it's all good.

had to stay after school today, and it wasn't even for me. concert band had rehearsal, and there was no point in me going home and then going back to the school to pick Eric up, so I just stayed in the band room and did homework. concert band actually sounds pretty good, compared to the beginning of the year.

festival tomorrow night and Saturday afternoon...that should be interesting. I really don't wanna. symphonic band is probably going to get a 2, because our march is abysmal. orchestra might get a 1 though. that'll be a welcome change.

mmm...sleepy time for Jennie.

P.S.~Look at the cute little penguin! it even yawns!