I refuse to put all of (g)Nick's gnoll puns in here...but here's some D&D hilarity anyway.

[uberniftacular]

"You are NOT throwing my fortitude save across the ocean!"

"That almost makes my spell usef...well, no, my save is 12."
"You can affect other barbarians!"

"You know what we need? Some raspberry jam..." (confused looks)
"It's okay, I think I know what he's got in mind."

"If only bananas were lethal."
"Sometimes they have tarantulas..."
"Which he currently has in his pants..."
"OMG get them out!"

"Why is he carrying bananas into battle?"
"Because bananas are good, you banana heretic you!"

"You miss a hypnotized, naked gnoll. Congratulations."

"Plus two!"

"Shut up or I'll eat a banana!"

"8 points of un-damage."

"Do rags automatically miss their reflex save?"
"Yeah, especially when they're soaked with ale."

"I cast disguise self on...my...self. Because I can't cast it on anyone else."

"It wouldn't really explode, it would just burn."
"It's pirate ale, it explodes!"

"We need a siege crossbow."
"That would be a ballista."

"That's why they call this Dungeons and Dragons."
"Well this is open wilderness and dragons."
"Actually, this is open wilderness and gnolls."
"And bananas!"

"Why would they come here? Everyone knows there's no money in Michigan."
"There's still crack whores."

"Retribution in the face damage."

"We got distracted by Jupiter. I apologize."

"I'm summoning an army of holy monkeys! ...The only way this could be more in my idiom is if they were on fire!"

"...because monkeys are monkeys."

"Well guys...should I use fire, or should I hit it with my sling?"

"I will shake my disc at you."

"There's 4 gnolls outside the ship."
"What are they doing?"
"Gnolling."

"So what are you guys doing?"
"We're arming the monkeys!"

"Heavily armed monkeys on hovercrafts!"

"This has got to be some sort of apocalyptic thing...heavenly monkeys on hovercraft..."

"Suicide bombing hovermonkeys!"

"Okay, one of the monkeys is taking two-weapon fighting..."

"I have more spell points than he does!"
"After I created an apocalyptic army of death monkeys, yes."

"Power flirting!"

"Dammit, I want to use my apocalyptic swarm of death monkeys!"

"Bros before hos, man...that's the gnoll code now."

"It's made of force...and win."

"If I die, I'm going to play a warforged."
"No you're not."

"This is the first time I've ever actually seen a die confiscated from the DM for rolling too well."

(as the pirate ship is shooting cannons at us) "That was entirely uncalled for! We just wanted to sell you some encyclopedias!"

"He's wielding a +6 shield of backstory."

"Who's attacking me?"
"The lone ranger."

"Don't smite with a 3, that is an insufficient smite."

"Failed reflex save."
"Successful damage."

Comments

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

*snort*

[uberniftacular]

I'm currently at D&D...one of my party members said he was going to throw my familiar onto a pirate ship.

You must know, this party consists of three chaotic good characters and a lawful good paladin (played by my brother). We've decided to call our paladin "Mom" because things are just silly and it's like Eric's character is the parent because the rest of us are acting like 6-year-olds.

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

Don't cringe at our puns, that's just the way we gnoll.

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

*squee* This makes me ridiculously happy. From now on, I wish to see these sorts of things so I can live vicariously. And so I have declared it.

*hug* Thank you for posting this! I clap in joy!

[uberniftacular]

This is getting longer as we speak, keep refreshing every few minutes.

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

I am certainly going to vote for a continuation of crazy quotes when we play....so stay tuned. Also, I may actually finish my version of the campaign log before Nick does....when I'm not creating set-ups for insanely ridiculous adventures.

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

*claps hands* Yay! I can continue to live vicariously through other people and get my giggles for the day.

(Though I think my poor roommate was annoyed with my loud cackling and insistence upon reading the quotes out loud when she had no clue what was going on. :D)

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

Is there gnoll chance that we'll see any gnoll puns?

[insane-actor.livejournal.com]

I'll be dogging your lj, waiting to see my gnoll puns.

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

Gnoll reason that they shouldn't be here.

[insane-actor.livejournal.com]

I get gnoll respect

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

I gnoll, man.

[stevetom.livejournal.com]

the best one is missing!

the one about the dead people on pikes not liking bananas

[uberniftacular]

I can't remember exactly how it went now. That and dead people on pikes are icky. And I was probably busy typing something else at the time that occurred.