writing about Loren's party because I'm cool like that

[uberniftacular]

so I went to Loren's party last night, which was pretty much fun, I guess. I got there a little after 6 and hung out with Loren and Rachel while waiting for others to come. we walked to the field and eventually collected Amber and Ashley, then walked back to the campsite. we ended up playing Apples to Apples for several hours, which was pretty fun. I won for once, which was kinda nice, though by the end I was getting a little tired of playing, so I wasn't really sorry when the red cards ran out.

while we were playing, Loren and Jenny (with the help of Loren's dad) got the fire started, so we all sat around the fire and roasted marshmallows (and tried to avoid getting set on fire by Rachel's dangerous marshmallow-roasting technique).

after stuffing ourselves with marshmallows and chocolate, people started talking about stuff...and that was pretty much the point when I stopped having fun. they all decided it would be fun to start talking about their various dirty secrets and stuff, and apparently it's cool to try to make people (who don't happen to believe it's necessary to make extremely private details public) tell things they don't want to. I'm just curious as to when my private life became other people's business. and why I'm expected to tell them that kind of stuff just because they like to talk about their own...exploits. so then one of them decided "well, if you're not going to share, you don't get to listen either." Okay, fine, I didn't want to hear their fucking sex stories to begin with, but I don't appreciate the fact that that was the point when they all decided to go back over to the table to share secrets and left me stuck with Amber and Ashley. I don't really understand why they think it's appropriate to just completely ignore me because I'm a more private person than they are. not only that, but Rachel went over there with them, and (please don't be offended by this, Rachel) she doesn't even have secrets like that to tell, yet she was allowed to listen.

it's not like I couldn't hear half the stuff they were saying from where I was sitting anyway. but that didn't help things at all. I heard stuff I really didn't want to hear...stuff that makes me wonder what the hell happened all of the sudden. I used to think my friends were the good kids...

the whole "wondering what happened" feeling really wasn't helped later on, either, when it was just me and a couple others left, and I was kinda stuck listening to one of my best friends in the whole world talking about going to strip clubs and staying up all night drinking and passing out at 5 in the morning.

so yeah, by the end of the evening I was just sitting there in this tired, half feeling like I was going to start crying at any minute sort of state.

there's something extremely disconcerting about realizing that almost all of your friends aren't actually the people you've thought they were for 10 years.

Comments

[dancinqueen0100.livejournal.com]

It's funny, I have found that this past school and this summer has had a way of changing us all.

Be gentle, darling

[darkpoet1987.livejournal.com]

You must remember that certain people like to communicate openly about what they like to do. I don't agree with them ignoring you just for not wanting to share, but you shouldn't get upset because they've chosen to experience something. Besides, remember..you are dating someone who could give all those people a run for their money ;-).

Call me when you get the chance, I think you could benefit from some real live venting.

[chikadee87.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm really sorry you feel that way... I was just joking around with you, and I really don't think anyone forced you to talk about anything... having said that, though, why is it that you don't feel it's anyone business but have no problem judging? If you have an issue you can talk to me about it, but I really hoped you were above just writing about it on your LJ.

Here's to passive-aggressive bullshit!

[rachelrenecary.livejournal.com]

No Jennie, I wasn't at all offended by what you said.. It's true I didn't have anything to say.. and I'm sorry people were drifting off towards the table.. I dunno who said that you weren't allowed to hear but.. you're right nobody should force you to express you private life, then it wouldn't be private anymore. lol

About the strip club thing, I was just curious about it.. You know me I prolly will end up chickening out, but yet I am still curious.. it happens to a girl like me who hasn't had a real boyfriend, ever. And the one friend you mentioned earlier about drinking and going to strip clubs, she hasn't been to a strip club before.

[thunderzach.livejournal.com]

im dont really wanna get involved cuz its none of my business but i wanted to say that i know how it feels to one day realize your friends are different then what you thought all along and that if you ever wanna talk to someone completely unrelated to it then im here

[kishay414.livejournal.com]

I understand exactly what you mean about wanting to be private. I'm like that also.

If i had been able to go, i would have been at that table right along with you.

I hope everything gets worked out for you, jennie.

And, i cannot for the life of me imagine you saying "fucking." heh.

[k-e-p.livejournal.com]

I sympathize. I completely sympathize. Having been through that earlier this year, I can definitely relate.

*hug*