it isn't fair
Apr. 5th, 2004 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
uberniftacularso apparently my brother got to hang out with all the cool kids part of the day at MGM. I wish I could hang out with them. but I don't know any of them well enough.
I don't get it. my brother doesn't know them that well either, he's just friends with Ben. so he's automatically accepted I guess.
and then there's me. I guess I'm just not cool enough.
but I really don't understand. I mean, I've got so many...well I guess you could call them connections...to those kids, but I still just don't fit in. I mean, I talk to Andy a lot, I've known Ben since he was like 5, Katie comments in this journal, Josh and I talk online sometimes, Jenny Amble is good friends with other Josh, Steve is in my section in band, I talk to Chelsea sometimes, I've known Danelle since middle school...so why don't I fit in? it doesn't make any sense at all. and it's really depressing. because these are the kids that I see at school and see them always doing something fun, hanging out, and there's always so many of them...and I just get this horrible wistful feeling becuase that's the kind of friendships I wish I had. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the friends I've got, it's just that those kids...they're the awesome ones. they always seem to be having fun, going to each other's houses, whatever...and I sit there wishing I was a part of it.
I don't get it. my brother doesn't know them that well either, he's just friends with Ben. so he's automatically accepted I guess.
and then there's me. I guess I'm just not cool enough.
but I really don't understand. I mean, I've got so many...well I guess you could call them connections...to those kids, but I still just don't fit in. I mean, I talk to Andy a lot, I've known Ben since he was like 5, Katie comments in this journal, Josh and I talk online sometimes, Jenny Amble is good friends with other Josh, Steve is in my section in band, I talk to Chelsea sometimes, I've known Danelle since middle school...so why don't I fit in? it doesn't make any sense at all. and it's really depressing. because these are the kids that I see at school and see them always doing something fun, hanging out, and there's always so many of them...and I just get this horrible wistful feeling becuase that's the kind of friendships I wish I had. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the friends I've got, it's just that those kids...they're the awesome ones. they always seem to be having fun, going to each other's houses, whatever...and I sit there wishing I was a part of it.
