Confessional

Warning: this entry is going to be very disjointed. Hope you're in the mood to feel like you're in the presence of someone with ADD.
Basically just a big long post of junk that's been in my head lately and I felt like writing it down.

Watching shows on the Style network makes me want to go shopping.
But then I realize that anything that looks cute on the people on those shows probably wouldn't look good on me.
I want to wear cute skirts.
But all the cute ones are too short, and my legs are ugly.
I've always wanted a red plaid skirt.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to really do the real "college kid" thing.
That whole...living in a dorm and having a bunch of friends that your friends from high school don't recognize.
Tom just called me a smart ass...I don't think I appreciate that very much.
Ah well.
It's funny how you can go from hardly ever talking to someone to them suddenly being one of your best friends.
It's cool though.
I'm very excited about seeing Another Misprint in a couple weeks.
The last time I went to see them, I almost felt like I was being a real college kid doing real college kid stuff.
I don't think that makes any sense at all though.
I feel like everyone's growing up and leaving me behind sometimes though.
I hope I get to do stuff with all my friends this summer.
I love nights like this.
Sitting here with the windows wide open, blasting ska music and talking to my friends online.
It's amazing how just hearing a friend say "you know I love ya" can make things a zillion times brighter.
So I'm going to be house-sitting for two weeks this summer.
I'm a little freaked out about that.
I'm going to have to live on my own for two weeks, and I just...don't know if I can do that.
A couple days ago Bry and I were talking about what would happen if he won the lottery.
That was a fun discussion.
Things are awesome with me and Bry lately.
It's very exciting.
I want to spend the night at Bry's sometime.
Just so I could find out what it's like to wake up with him beside me.
And now I've got warm fuzzies just thinking about it.
I know there were more things I was going to write in this thing...
I've been working on a new RP character recently.
I don't have much about her yet though.
And I have writer's block, so the story I'm trying to write with her isn't coming out at all.
I'm actually a very huggy person.
I'd never realized it until last year, at the end of the year.
By that point, I was almost graduated and stuff.
Getting hugs from all my friends at the end of the year was what made me really realize it, I guess.
And now...I love getting hugs.
I wish I got hugs from my friends more often.
Even the ones I see every week.
But especially the ones I don't see as often.
That's why I always insist on getting hugs from everyone when I visit the band room.
It's not just the hugs though...this is going to sound weird.
But I think I'm actually more of a physical person (see, that sounds weirder than I'd like it to) than I used to think I was.
Like, I'm not so weirded out any more by being used as a pillow.
Or by using someone else as a pillow.
Or sitting on someone because they stole my seat.
And I guess I actually feel better because of it.
Like...I'm more comfortable with being close to people, I guess.
It makes things more fun, I think.
Like when I get really silly and hyper and end up using people as pillows.
I would never have been able to do something like that even a year and a half ago.
I guess I'm getting more comfortable with people in general, maybe.