Jennie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uberniftacular) wrote2008-02-15 08:27 pm
uberniftacular) wrote2008-02-15 08:27 pm
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A message for the patrons of the Davison Library
To whom it may concern:
We appreciate your patronage. However. There are some concerns we would like to address.
To those with children:
Either teach them proper library etiquette or leave them at home. Screaming in the library is not appreciated. And books are not toys. Neither are the dvds. Teach your freaking kids to put things back on the shelf where they found them, instead of allowing your spawn to pull books and dvds off the shelves, drop them all over the floor, and then just leave them there.
To those with cell phones:
Turn them off! Cell phones should be on silent, or vibrate if you think something urgent might come up. But under no circumstances should you answer said phone inside the library...the entire world doesn't want to know what you're talking about. Even if you're at one of the computers. The computer will (most likely) still be there when you get back. And anyone who walks up to the front desk and expects us to wait on you while you're carrying on an ever-so-important conversation on your cell phone can and will be ceremonially maimed and then thrown out of the library.
To those with complaints about the internet speed:
The Davison Library has absolutely no control over the speed of the internet. If we could make the internet go faster, trust us, we would do such a thing just to get you people to SHUT UP. But. We do not own the internet. We do not control the internet. Therefore, we can do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING regarding the speed of said internet, no matter how much you complain about it.
To the smelly creepy guy:
First and foremost...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIBRARY! You smell. Stop staring at me. For the love of God, stop picking up books, flipping through them really quickly with absolutely no intention of actually checking them out, and then leaving them on the end of the shelves even though the books are inevitably the very last book on the shelf, and therefore it's VERY easy to figure out where they came from so you can put them back. Stop using the computers...you got kicked out for looking at child porn once, I honestly don't have any idea why they've allowed you back in. Go away. And take a bath.
To the irritating woman who doesn't know how to use the computers:
Make your damn son teach you how to use the thing, since apparently he knows how to do absolutely everything in the universe. Copying a picture from the internet into a powerpoint and resizing it is not complicated. Also, Elvis is not the best musician in the universe, please stop asking for stuff about him. You've already read everything the library owns regarding Elvis. And stop talking to us. We do not care.
Thank you.
We appreciate your patronage. However. There are some concerns we would like to address.
To those with children:
Either teach them proper library etiquette or leave them at home. Screaming in the library is not appreciated. And books are not toys. Neither are the dvds. Teach your freaking kids to put things back on the shelf where they found them, instead of allowing your spawn to pull books and dvds off the shelves, drop them all over the floor, and then just leave them there.
To those with cell phones:
Turn them off! Cell phones should be on silent, or vibrate if you think something urgent might come up. But under no circumstances should you answer said phone inside the library...the entire world doesn't want to know what you're talking about. Even if you're at one of the computers. The computer will (most likely) still be there when you get back. And anyone who walks up to the front desk and expects us to wait on you while you're carrying on an ever-so-important conversation on your cell phone can and will be ceremonially maimed and then thrown out of the library.
To those with complaints about the internet speed:
The Davison Library has absolutely no control over the speed of the internet. If we could make the internet go faster, trust us, we would do such a thing just to get you people to SHUT UP. But. We do not own the internet. We do not control the internet. Therefore, we can do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING regarding the speed of said internet, no matter how much you complain about it.
To the smelly creepy guy:
First and foremost...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIBRARY! You smell. Stop staring at me. For the love of God, stop picking up books, flipping through them really quickly with absolutely no intention of actually checking them out, and then leaving them on the end of the shelves even though the books are inevitably the very last book on the shelf, and therefore it's VERY easy to figure out where they came from so you can put them back. Stop using the computers...you got kicked out for looking at child porn once, I honestly don't have any idea why they've allowed you back in. Go away. And take a bath.
To the irritating woman who doesn't know how to use the computers:
Make your damn son teach you how to use the thing, since apparently he knows how to do absolutely everything in the universe. Copying a picture from the internet into a powerpoint and resizing it is not complicated. Also, Elvis is not the best musician in the universe, please stop asking for stuff about him. You've already read everything the library owns regarding Elvis. And stop talking to us. We do not care.
Thank you.
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