Jennie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uberniftacular) wrote2008-12-30 10:43 pm
uberniftacular) wrote2008-12-30 10:43 pm
Entry tags:
Criminal Minds CRACK
So Kirsten came over last night and we watched Criminal Minds. And there was hilarity. Which turned into a serious AU crack!fic idea. And required the use of the Shenanigans icon.
The general idea: the Criminal Minds team is totally like a family. So. What if they really were a family? A foster family, at least.
What we've got here is a general background of what they'd be like in high school. The assumption here is that they go to a small enough school that 7th and 8th grade is included with the high school, so that JJ is in the same school building as the rest of them.
The Criminal Minds Family High School Alternate Universe
Hotch:
- Mom! A.k.a. Mama Bear.
- totally a soccer mom – drives a van
- bakes cookies while wearing a pink frilly apron and oven mitts
- gardens while wearing pink floral gardening gloves, during which he kneels on a pink gardening mat (doesn’t want to get those suits dirty) – mat and gloves were a Mother’s Day gift from Garcia
- wears flannel pajamas that look like a suit (seriously. He just can’t be without those suits.)
- the disciplinarian parent
- irons the kids’ clothes on the plane
Gideon
- real Dad
- walked out on the family. Reid was the only one he told, making the other kids really not pleased with him.
Rossi
- stepdad by arranged marriage. The marriage was arranged by Yente Robot Bitch Queen, a.k.a. Section Chief Erin Strauss.
- started off with absolutely HORRIBLE fashion sense, but now that Hotch dresses him, he looks a lot better
- the kids didn’t like him at first (the expected resentment because he’s replacing Real Dad), but they’re starting to get used to him.
- an emotionally absent parent
Elle
- the oldest sister, she’s off at college, and doesn’t call or write.
- highly independent
- now that she’s out of the foster system, she just doesn’t bother contacting the family anymore
Morgan
- a senior, the captain of the football team. Plays whatever position allows him to tackle people A LOT.
- very popular; has a string of girlfriends who never stick around long.
- the most well-dressed family member
- is totally embarrassed by the fact that his 12-year-old brother is graduating with him, and gets better grades than him too.
- SQUIGGLY EYEBROWS!
- Garcia is his favorite sibling
- shares a room with Reid
- protective of all his siblings, Reid and Garcia most of all, but tries to pretend he isn’t
- is going to college on a football scholarship
Prentiss
- a junior
- the most closed-off of the siblings
- a member of the book club (favorite author: Vonnegut)
- has a small group of friends, but isn’t super popular
- independent
- is a good student, gets all A’s
Garcia
- freshman
- gamer geek – member of the computer club, also hangs out with the theater kids
- gets picked on a little, but can generally take care of it herself, because she’s got the Power of Snark
- will NOT let Mom dress her, no matter how much Mom tries
- shares a room with JJ; her room is the shiny happy side, full of fluffy stuff and glow-in-the-dark things
- keeps a journal with a fuzzy pink cover
- is a decent student – gets mostly A’s and B’s, though she gets the occasional C (which Hotch is NEVER pleased about)
- everyone in school knows who she is
- JJ and Morgan are her best friends
JJ
- 8th grade
- on the soccer team
- the whole family goes to her games – she pretends she’s embarrassed, but secretly she’s pleased
- her side of the room is generally organized – has her soccer trophies and other awards on display (partially because she wants them up, and partially because Hotch is a Proud Mommy)
- an A-B student
- popular. VERY good with people – she’s the nice popular kid, the one that tries to get the snotty popular ones to not pick on people
- plays oboe, but will probably drop band when she gets into high school
- member of the middle school student government
- not really a big reader
Reid
- 12-year-old high school senior, the baby of the family
- wears a lot of the family’s hand-me-down clothes. When he does go shopping, Hotch lets him pick out his own clothes…and then stares in horror. o.O
- wears footie pajamas and sleeps with a teddy bear. It just sits on his pillow, honest!
- his side of the room is covered in piles of books, and he totally flips out if Morgan messes up the book piles
- gets picked on a lot, though Morgan tries to protect him a lot of the time
- has very few friends outside of the family. He has a lot of study buddies, though most of them are actually just using him for his brain.
- was very close to Gideon, though was also one of the first of the kids to accept Rossi
- needs cuddles, but has personal space issues
- visits Diana (his birth!mom, who’s committed because she has schizophrenia) somewhat regularly, though he doesn’t really want to go (but won’t admit it to the family)
- sometimes acts kinda recklessly, because he looks up to Morgan and the parents and wants to be like them.
- in the family, he’s closest to his sisters, especially JJ. They tell him all their secrets, and he lets them braid his hair (at which point Morgan takes pictures and laughs hysterically)
- wears his emotions on his sleeve
- member of the chess club – and rocks at it because Gideon taught him to play
- is probably going to be valedictorian of the senior class, at which point he’ll probably make a very long and rambling speech that will greatly embarrass Morgan
A note here: All the kids (with the possible exception of JJ) have parent issues in canon anyway. Case in point:
Elle's dad died when she was a kid. He was in the military or something.
Morgan's dad died in the line of duty when he was young.
Prentiss has serious Mommy Issues.
Garcia's parents died in a car crash when she was 18.
Reid. Oh, Reid. His mom is schizophrenic. And there are serious Daddy Issues...his real dad walked out on them when he was 10. And then Gideon (read: new!Dad) walked out too.
Kirsten, my dear co-writer and fellow insane person, I believe we need to dialogue on some stuff about this. For example:
If they're in high school, what year does that make this? Like...1982?
What kind of music do they all listen to? Reid definitely listens to jazz (it's canon! In one of the books he was listening to Miles Davis. Which was a little freaky when I was reading it...because I was listening to the same Miles Davis album as he was. Weird.), but what do the rest of them listen to?
I can see some of them reading magazines. This observation was made when I was shelving magazines at work tonight...and I had to wonder, does Hotch read "Better Homes & Gardens"? Or possibly "Ladies' Home Journal"?
And we were kinda close on the whole...ages of the characters thing. Actors' ages:
Elle: 37
Morgan: 38
Prentiss: 39
Garcia: 36
JJ: 30
Reid: 28
So, there's a bit of a gap, and Prentiss is actually older than Morgan and Elle is younger, but in general we guessed pretty well. Ish. We were right about JJ and Reid, anyway. And we knew that Elle and Morgan and Prentiss were close in age. And that Garcia is in the middle.
...The rambling caused by having had only 3 hours of sleep should end now, I think.
Oh! And dialogue on whatever else you can think of.
The general idea: the Criminal Minds team is totally like a family. So. What if they really were a family? A foster family, at least.
What we've got here is a general background of what they'd be like in high school. The assumption here is that they go to a small enough school that 7th and 8th grade is included with the high school, so that JJ is in the same school building as the rest of them.
The Criminal Minds Family High School Alternate Universe
Hotch:
- Mom! A.k.a. Mama Bear.
- totally a soccer mom – drives a van
- bakes cookies while wearing a pink frilly apron and oven mitts
- gardens while wearing pink floral gardening gloves, during which he kneels on a pink gardening mat (doesn’t want to get those suits dirty) – mat and gloves were a Mother’s Day gift from Garcia
- wears flannel pajamas that look like a suit (seriously. He just can’t be without those suits.)
- the disciplinarian parent
- irons the kids’ clothes on the plane
Gideon
- real Dad
- walked out on the family. Reid was the only one he told, making the other kids really not pleased with him.
Rossi
- stepdad by arranged marriage. The marriage was arranged by Yente Robot Bitch Queen, a.k.a. Section Chief Erin Strauss.
- started off with absolutely HORRIBLE fashion sense, but now that Hotch dresses him, he looks a lot better
- the kids didn’t like him at first (the expected resentment because he’s replacing Real Dad), but they’re starting to get used to him.
- an emotionally absent parent
Elle
- the oldest sister, she’s off at college, and doesn’t call or write.
- highly independent
- now that she’s out of the foster system, she just doesn’t bother contacting the family anymore
Morgan
- a senior, the captain of the football team. Plays whatever position allows him to tackle people A LOT.
- very popular; has a string of girlfriends who never stick around long.
- the most well-dressed family member
- is totally embarrassed by the fact that his 12-year-old brother is graduating with him, and gets better grades than him too.
- SQUIGGLY EYEBROWS!
- Garcia is his favorite sibling
- shares a room with Reid
- protective of all his siblings, Reid and Garcia most of all, but tries to pretend he isn’t
- is going to college on a football scholarship
Prentiss
- a junior
- the most closed-off of the siblings
- a member of the book club (favorite author: Vonnegut)
- has a small group of friends, but isn’t super popular
- independent
- is a good student, gets all A’s
Garcia
- freshman
- gamer geek – member of the computer club, also hangs out with the theater kids
- gets picked on a little, but can generally take care of it herself, because she’s got the Power of Snark
- will NOT let Mom dress her, no matter how much Mom tries
- shares a room with JJ; her room is the shiny happy side, full of fluffy stuff and glow-in-the-dark things
- keeps a journal with a fuzzy pink cover
- is a decent student – gets mostly A’s and B’s, though she gets the occasional C (which Hotch is NEVER pleased about)
- everyone in school knows who she is
- JJ and Morgan are her best friends
JJ
- 8th grade
- on the soccer team
- the whole family goes to her games – she pretends she’s embarrassed, but secretly she’s pleased
- her side of the room is generally organized – has her soccer trophies and other awards on display (partially because she wants them up, and partially because Hotch is a Proud Mommy)
- an A-B student
- popular. VERY good with people – she’s the nice popular kid, the one that tries to get the snotty popular ones to not pick on people
- plays oboe, but will probably drop band when she gets into high school
- member of the middle school student government
- not really a big reader
Reid
- 12-year-old high school senior, the baby of the family
- wears a lot of the family’s hand-me-down clothes. When he does go shopping, Hotch lets him pick out his own clothes…and then stares in horror. o.O
- wears footie pajamas and sleeps with a teddy bear. It just sits on his pillow, honest!
- his side of the room is covered in piles of books, and he totally flips out if Morgan messes up the book piles
- gets picked on a lot, though Morgan tries to protect him a lot of the time
- has very few friends outside of the family. He has a lot of study buddies, though most of them are actually just using him for his brain.
- was very close to Gideon, though was also one of the first of the kids to accept Rossi
- needs cuddles, but has personal space issues
- visits Diana (his birth!mom, who’s committed because she has schizophrenia) somewhat regularly, though he doesn’t really want to go (but won’t admit it to the family)
- sometimes acts kinda recklessly, because he looks up to Morgan and the parents and wants to be like them.
- in the family, he’s closest to his sisters, especially JJ. They tell him all their secrets, and he lets them braid his hair (at which point Morgan takes pictures and laughs hysterically)
- wears his emotions on his sleeve
- member of the chess club – and rocks at it because Gideon taught him to play
- is probably going to be valedictorian of the senior class, at which point he’ll probably make a very long and rambling speech that will greatly embarrass Morgan
A note here: All the kids (with the possible exception of JJ) have parent issues in canon anyway. Case in point:
Elle's dad died when she was a kid. He was in the military or something.
Morgan's dad died in the line of duty when he was young.
Prentiss has serious Mommy Issues.
Garcia's parents died in a car crash when she was 18.
Reid. Oh, Reid. His mom is schizophrenic. And there are serious Daddy Issues...his real dad walked out on them when he was 10. And then Gideon (read: new!Dad) walked out too.
Kirsten, my dear co-writer and fellow insane person, I believe we need to dialogue on some stuff about this. For example:
If they're in high school, what year does that make this? Like...1982?
What kind of music do they all listen to? Reid definitely listens to jazz (it's canon! In one of the books he was listening to Miles Davis. Which was a little freaky when I was reading it...because I was listening to the same Miles Davis album as he was. Weird.), but what do the rest of them listen to?
I can see some of them reading magazines. This observation was made when I was shelving magazines at work tonight...and I had to wonder, does Hotch read "Better Homes & Gardens"? Or possibly "Ladies' Home Journal"?
And we were kinda close on the whole...ages of the characters thing. Actors' ages:
Elle: 37
Morgan: 38
Prentiss: 39
Garcia: 36
JJ: 30
Reid: 28
So, there's a bit of a gap, and Prentiss is actually older than Morgan and Elle is younger, but in general we guessed pretty well. Ish. We were right about JJ and Reid, anyway. And we knew that Elle and Morgan and Prentiss were close in age. And that Garcia is in the middle.
...The rambling caused by having had only 3 hours of sleep should end now, I think.
Oh! And dialogue on whatever else you can think of.
no subject
Y'know, even though I'm a slasher, and even though Hotch and Gideon really ARE Mom and Dad, I still can't bend my brain enough to make them a sexual couple. (And I can bend my brain to make ANYONE a gay couple.) I see them as really good friends, and they were both single (actually, I can see Hotch being divorced still, so maybe that's where we fit Haley and Jack in? More on that later.) and they wanted kids, and in one of those weird fits of logic that aren't actually logical at all, they decided to get married and take care of foster kids, because Hotch knows the system from being a prosecutor, and Gideon knows the system from being a professor-profiler and seeing way too many broken homes, and they figure they can at least provide a better home than a serial killers.
On Haley and Jack- as I mentioned earlier, I can see Hotch being divorced like in canon, but it being a slightly more amicable divorce. And Jack gets to come visit once a month, maybe some more, and the kids get a little insecure about those visits because, well, Jack is his biological son, and they're not related to Hotch at all, and... fill in insecure feelings *here*. But your idea is good too, I can see it both ways.
Oh yes. That is the perfect opening. It will be. (Though, not all of the stories may happen in order, because I can't write sequentially. As a warning. You might have to write the first one. I'll probably end up writing Hotch's funeral or something... :D)
(Dammit, I'm supposed to be packing!)
(Mum loves CM so much that she made me watch it with her instead of packing. We're almost done with the third season! [Although, admittedly, we didn't watch the first season together, and I kinda skipped five episodes of the second season and three of the third...])
no subject
Speaking of Gideon...he's old enough, maybe he was a profiler for a while and then left the Bureau to become a professor instead? Perhaps? I dunno, I'm just throwing out every single random thought that comes into my head at this point.
I can see that working, the Haley and Jack issue. And that would leave open some fun options for insecurity and stuff. How old would Jack be in relation to the kids? I guess I haven't thought this much into it yet, but did Gideon and Hotch take in the kids when they were very young (like...3 or 4), making Jack around the same age as Morgan, or were the kids older when they were taken in, so Jack would be around the same age as the younger kids?
I liked the idea of that opening. The next question then would be who's calling for Mom? Obviously they got in a fight or something...I guess I see JJ being the most likely one to be calling for Mom, dunno why though.
(Ha, that's awesome. Which eps did you skip? And have you gotten the chance to watch the last 3 episodes of season 3 yet?)
no subject
Ok, yeah, I definitely see Hotch crashing at Gideon's place when he and Haley split. Y'know, they met through the justice system (or, rather, "justice" system), became friends, and who is going to deny their friend a couch when they're going through a divorce? And it just so happened to work out. I can see them getting really smashed one night after a case/court thing goes really bad, and they start waxing poetic (or as poetic as drunks can get) about children, and how much they like kids, and how much the foster system sucks, and it just evolves into, "let's be heterosexual-life-partners-and-parents."
Ooo, yeah! Gideon is a profiler until they get the first foster kid and then, so he can be home more often, he switches to being a professor and consultant from time to time. Because the cases were getting to him ANYWAY, he was losing objectivity, so why not pull out a little early? That way, when he eventually leaves, it still makes sense. Maybe he consulted on a really bad case? Or- OMG, what if he consulted on the Frank cases, and instead of going after Sarah, Frank goes after Gideon's family?
(I did mention that I think some things in canon should transfer over into AU world- more on that later.)
Hmm. When did the kids come... well, they probably got whoever is the most well-adjusted first, at a fairly young age. And then the others came in sporadically. Who's the most well-adjusted? JJ? Then Jack would probably be around the same age as JJ, if only because I can imagine Hotch wanting a kid that sort of paralleled the one he can't see as often. What are your thoughts on the ordering?
Calling for Mom- either JJ or Reid, since they're the youngest and the most likely to bring in Mom to settle the fights.
(I have plowed through season 3 and am working on season 4 right now. Mum skipped the back portion of season 2, after Revelations, and the first two eps of season 3.)
no subject
Hahaha, yeah, I can totally see them getting smashed and making a decision like that. And wouldn't THAT be a fun scene to write.
Not sure about the Frank thing. It would make sense that a bad consulting case would make Gideon leave though. But not sure about Frank. Though I think that's more a personal bias issue than anything else...Frank was icky. (Well, not that the other unsubs weren't, but...I dunno.)
JJ probably is the most well-adjusted. Not only that, she's blonde like Jack, so...really parallel, huh? And maybe Morgan was next? I somehow see him maybe getting bounced around the system for a bit before ending up with Hotch and Gideon. That might be an explanation for some of his trust issues too. Hm, maybe he and Garcia came in together? Maybe? I'll have to think on that one too. Thinking maybe JJ was 3 or 4 when she came in, then Morgan and Garcia the next year (putting them around 9 and 6, respectively...putting Morgan old enough to have been bounced around the system for a year or two and have pretty deep-seated trust issues from it). So then we'd still need to figure out Elle, Reid, and Prentiss...but does that seem reasonable to you?
Heh, yeah, definitely either JJ or Reid. Maybe Morgan messed with Reid's books one too many times? I dunno.
(Enjoying season 4 so far? I need to go back and watch the season again, I've forgotten most of the episodes by now. But episode 11 was freaking AWESOME. Just so you know.)