when I was at work tonight, I suddenly had the urge to write in this. I dunno really about what, I just wanted to write.
I guess one of the things that I've really been noticing a lot lately is how much I've changed since the beginning of high school. Honestly, sometimes I barely recognize the person I used to be. When I was a freshman...I don't even like to think about it, really. I was so pathetic, so stupid. And at the same time, I was incredibly shy. Not that I'm not still shy, but I'm nowhere near as bad as I used to be. I suppose I'm more confident now...maybe. Sometime sophomore year I discovered that I've got a protective streak in me.
I've got a lot more friends now than I ever thought I would. Just looking at my LJ friendslist could tell you that, but it's so much more than just that. I have friends scattered all over Michigan, and a couple that are currently on the other side of the Atlantic. Along with having more friends, I think I've become a lot more comfortable with...well, affection in general. Accepting hugs from people is a lot less awkward for me now than it ever was in the past, as is giving hugs. Heck, I think I've actually started looking for excuses to give people hugs lately. Before, I used to be shy, almost afraid, of human contact. I guess this can be attributed to several sources: Bry, obviously, because he was sort of the one that truly intorduced me to the joys of just being able to hug someone (if that makes any sense at all); Wolverine camp, because...with those friends, I had to hug them, I would've felt horrible and empty if I hadn't, since I only see them a couple times a year; and of course, the simple fact that I'm a senior, and there's so many people that I'm afraid I'm never going to see again after I graduate.
I think I've become sort of more...fun, I guess...I mean, I go to parties occasionally, and I've hosted my fair share of them recently. I know I'm a lot more sarcastic than I used to be, and I think I might occasionally even be funny. I'm definitely more outgoing than I used to be, though I'm still not comfortable talking to people out of the blue or whatever.
Even though I've changed a lot, I'm still not sure who I really want to be. I mean, it seems like I have a few different personalities, so to speak, that only show themselves at certain times. Like when I'm at camp, for example. Or when I was in New York...I was completely different then from what I usually am. And, for the most part, I had a lot more fun doing that. I guess you could say I was "being myself," but I really don't know about that. I don't really know who this "myself" person even is, sometimes.
Wow. That was way more introspective than I'd intended to get in this entry. Ah well, it kinda feels good to get it out, I guess.
and here's a quiz for good measure.
Your Life Path Number Is 6
You have a strong sense of responsibility: you must feel useful to be happy.
The main contribution you make is that of advice, service and ever present support.
This is the Life Path related to leadership by example and assumption of responsibility...
Thus, it is your obligation to pick up the burden and always be ready to help.
The Life Path 6 is one who is compelled to function with strength and compassion.
You are a sympathetic and kind person, generous with personal and material resources.
Wisdom, balance, and understanding are the cornerstones of your Life Path.
Your extraordinary wisdom and the ability to understand the problems of others is apt to commence from an early age...
As a child, you easily spanned the generation gap and assumed an important role in life early on.
While you may assume huge responsibilities in the community, you life revolves around the immediate home and family.
Most with Life Path 6 are the positive types who willingly carry far more than their fair share of the load and are always there when needed.
You are very human and realistic about life, and you feel that the most important thing in your life is the home, family and friends.
The number 6 Life Path actually produces few negative examples, but there are some pitfalls peculiar to the path.
Avoid a tendency to become overwhelmed by responsibilities and a slave to others.
Also, avoid being too critical (of yourself or of others).
The misuse of this Life Path produces tendencies towards exaggeration, over-expansiveness, and self-righteousness.
Imposing one's views in an interfering or meddling way must be an issue of concern.
The natural burdens of your number are heavy, and on rare occasions, responsibility is abdicated by persons with this Life Path 6.
This rejection of responsibility will make you feel very guilty and uneasy, and it will have very damaging effects upon your relationships with others.
that actually kinda sounds like me. scary, actually.